Reflections on my journey

I've been a bit reflective of late. That might be because I've spent a lot of time on plane, bus and train journeys looking into space. It might just be that time of year with seasons changing. It might also be because I'm nearing the end of this journey. What an amazing journey it's been too - and it's not over yet.

This time last year I was miserable. I wasn't just a bit down, I was absolutely bloody miserable. A series of bad events had worn me down. I look back on it as if I was a different person. In a way, I was. I feel so far away from that person now (quite literally). I haven't felt this happy, healthy or positive in years. Thank you open road!

I did the difficult bit of travelling first - Cambodia. That was such a culture shock, but a brilliant experience. Alongside my memories of being filthy, sweaty and totally out of my comfort zone, are the memories of laughing until my belly hurt, making fantastic new friendships and reaping the rewards of teaching the kids. Vietnam was a test of flying solo. I learnt a lot about myself then. I've certainly tapped into my inner strength on this trip and I've discovered how much you can gain from pushing yourself a bit.

Australia has been a massive learning curve too, but it certainly hasn't been hard work. I feel like I'm sitting back and reaping the rewards now. Life here is so much easier. I feel relaxed, happy and so much more confident. I've met so many different people with interesting tales. It's really opened my mind.

I put a lot of this positivity down to the new love in my life - Sydney! Is it just a fling or is it a longer term relationship? That remains to be seen. All I know is that I've discovered something great here and my journey isn't over yet thankfully.

Goodbye kids...

24th October: Phnom Penh
Friday was my last day at the orphanage. We 3 volunteers decided to all wear our 'I love Cambodia' T-shirts which amused us possibly more than the kids. I took in a second hand stereo for them and a pile of dodgy CDs that I bought in the market. I got some requests from the kids beforehand, so I can only apologise for actually buying Sean Kingston, Britney and a few other choice albums. I presented it to the co-ordinator and his response was 'how much did it cost?' Errr, I think 'thank you' would be the correct response here. Grrr...

My morning class were fairly underwhelmed by my departure and only seemed to show emotion when I produced a bag of sweets. I did get a few lovely messages from them though. For those of you wondering about 'needle girl', she made me a beautiful card with an origami flower. She wrote me a note saying how sad she was that I was leaving, asking me to come back and never to forget her. You know what, I don't think I will. Oh - she also showed me a picture of a sewing machine that she wanted, but I'm not that much of a sucker!

We got all the kids playing with a multi-coloured parachute which was brilliant. They were so excited and we had such fun. My afternoon students were great. They taught me how to make very delicate flowers and butterflies out of wire and netting. I made an effort but I think I shall leave them to it in future. The ones that they presented to me were really gorgeous. They all keep asking when I'll be back and I feel rather callous saying 'probably never'.

So after lots of hugs, I left the kids and the farm orphanage for the last time in the tuk tuk, feeling a whole wave of different emotions. Two minutes later we were stuck in the mud and had to push the tuk tuk out. I really am going to miss this place!

More tales from Cambodia

12th October: Phnom Penh
I meant to write more regularly, but there's always so much to do and so much to say. I will endeavour to update more.

This work lark is knackering! This should be my last week volunteering, but I've decided to extend it for another week. I've made some good friends here and I don't feel ready to leave them or the farm to go exploring on my own yet. Weirdly, the thought of just travelling seems a little self-indulgent after this experience. Yes, I am racking up the halo points and I'd better be on the fasttrack to heaven after all this!

My plan now is to go up to Siem Reap on Fri for a long weekend (til Mon) and visit Angkor Wat and the other amazing sights up there. I'll then head back here and work Tues-Fri before setting off to Saigon on the Saturday.

I have been so lucky with the people that have been volunteering with me. We've all got on brilliantly and seem to have similar outlooks even though our ages range from 21 up to the granny that is me. From day 1 we've gelled. I appreciate this even more since new people started a week or so ago. So many of them seem really immature, naive and high maintenance. Three girls arrived to work on the farm. They have moaned constantly about the heat and the dirt, they won't try any local food or try to understand the Cambodian people and they sanitise their hands every 2 mins as they're terrified of catching germs. Why come to Cambodia if you can't cope with heat, dirt and a different culture? Usually by 10am, I have mud (and probably cow poo) squelching between my toes, sweat dripping down my back and a nit-infested orphan clinging on to me. You just have to get on with it. That's what we're here for. Sorry for the rant, but they're so annoying!

I've been learning more about the kids' backgrounds now too. Some of it is quite difficult to take. Tales of kids whose parents were killed in traffic accidents, died of cancer, AIDS or other diseases. Many have parents who can't afford to keep the kids at home.

One of my teen students has been confiding in me. She has a family up north but they can't afford to educate her so she's been sent to the orphanage in the hope of giving her a better life. Her 3 brothers and 2 sisters are still at home and she misses them terribly but knows that she must focus on study. She wants to be a fashion designer. I bought her a sketchpad and some pencils and she came running over to me this morning with a whole host of new dress designs that she'd done over the weekend. She also made me a bracelet the other day out of woven threads and she'd put Pippa - Lucky on it. So sweet of her - and it really made me blub. The other day she revealed that she's been cutting herself. She has a couple of moles on her face and she thinks they're ugly, so she tried to cut one out with a needle. I told her that we call them beauty spots and that they are a mark of beauty. I came in the next day and she'd cut a 2nd one out with a needle. So much for my words of wisdom!

I wish you could have seen me last Friday. Suzanne (another volunteer and now pal) and I were asked to work on the farm. We had to plough a field to get it ready for sowing new crops. We looked around for machinery, but all they have are hoes, picks and rakes. We had to dig up the earth and then weed it all by hand. This experience is certainly challenging.

Five of us went to the beach (Sihanoukville) at the weekend. It was great to get away from the city for a few days. We took a taxi down there on Fri night - $8 each for a 4 hour journey! You couldn't get from Oxford Circus to Covent Garden for that. Unfortunately we woke up on Sat morning to the sound of heavy rain. Being Brits (and a couple of Aussies), we went to the beach anyway. We managed to get a few hours of intermittent sunshine, plus another heavy downpour.

The white sand was just lovely and the sea was nice, even though it's all quite churned up and choppy at the mo. Like much of Cambodia, it all just needs smartening up. The worst part was the hassle that you get from sellers. We felt like pied pipers as more and more women and kids followed us along the beach trying to sell stuff. They won't give up and sat with us constantly pestering us to buy bracelets, manicures, pedicures, scarves etc for the best part of an hour. In the end, I let them thread my eyebrows for $2 much to the amusement of the others. They were pretty rough on the manhandling front and I now have the bruised eyelid to prove it.

Anyway, that's about it from me for now. Please keep your news coming. I hate being cut off from you all.
Pip x

Week 1: I survived

26th September: Phnom Penh
So it's the end of my first week (feels like a month) and it's been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. I can't believe it was only a week ago that I was sipping bubbly in Hoxton and wearing high heels. It's another world away!

I'm staying in a guesthouse in central Phnom Penh which is pretty good (basic but ok). I've got my own room and bathroom which is a bonus as some others are sharing. There have been about 12 volunteers together this week, but several went home today and we won't get more for another week. Most are in their twenties but I suspect one is over 30 and there was a woman of 60 here last week too. We all get along well which is great, so we go for dinner together and help each other to plan lessons.

There are 3 projects out here - the farm orphanage, the 'library' and SECOLT. They're all for orphans, street kids etc but of different ages and abilities. Some have kids there full time and others just provide extra lessons when they're not at school. I'm on the farm project. Some of the orphans actually do have family, but they can't afford to look after them. A grandmother brought her grandson to the farm this week which I found quite hard to deal with.

There were 4 volunteers on the farm but one dropped out after the first day. I'm teaching the advanced class which is mainly 15-20 year olds. The bonus with that is that they can speak a bit of English - a real advantage when my Khymer is rather limited. The downside is that I thought I'd be teaching nursery rhymes and making sock puppets, instead I'm bluffing my way through conversations about Beyonce and hip hop!

We get picked up at 8am by tuk tuk (motorbike tuk tuk) and travel over to the farm (about 40 mins away). The roads get progressively worse as we go on. On day 1 the driver made us walk the last 100 yards or so as the road was so bad after the rain in the night. Picture me in flip flops, squelching through muddy potholes in the track which were probably about 80% cow dung! Great start to the day.

We won't be teaching in the mornings until the term starts properly in October, but we do teach from 1.30 - 3 in the afternoon. We make sure to finish on the dot of 3 and jump on our tuk tuk out of there to be home by around 4ish to recover and scrub ourselves clean.

The farm supervisors are so disorganised here that we spend a lot of time sitting around doing nothing. The Cambodians break from 11.30 - 1.30 which frustrates the hell out of us as we'd rather be busy. We've kicked up a fuss, saying that we're here to help and do more. Now, they're getting us to help on the farm and with chores. The good thing is that it means that I mix with lots of the other kids who are keen to help us garden, paint or clean. My down day was Thursday when we had to treat the kids for headlice. There were 2 of us with 50 lice-ridden kids, bottles of nit shampoo and a nit comb. It really was not my finest experience - the kids are just riddled with them and no doubt I will be too by the end of a month!

I'm getting used to being called 'Char' by the kids (short for teacher!) and generally manhandled by them as they all want your attention. The kids are so happy though. They play with each other and have great fun with next to nothing. No need for DVDs, Wiis and DSs when you've got a few rocks, a puppy and a younger child to throw around! The scary thing is that kids of about my 4 year old nephew Barney's size are aged 10+. I can't get over it. The youngest child is 6 and I thought they were about 2. They are just tiny.

Teaching is going ok but it does make me sweat. Mind you, that's pretty much a constant here at the moment as it is so humid. My hair is not coping with these conditions though and it is getting bigger and curlier by the day - it's the humidity!!

Anyway, it's Saturday today and I'm so glad it's the weekend. To relax after our first traumatic week, 3 of us have been to The Killing Fields and S-21 (the prison during the Polpot regime). Oh my god, it is such an eye opener. I can't believe the torture and atrocities that happened here only 30 years ago. At the killing fields, the soil is being eroded and there were bits of clothing, teeth and bone poking through the ground. It was like something out of a horror film. Fascinating, but really disturbing and I feel awful that I don't know more about this history.

Phnom Penh is really busy (motorbikes and tuk tuks everywhere). Crossing roads isn't easy, you just walk and hope for the best. The divide between rich and poor is shocking too. You either live in a shack or a rich, ornate house. You have a motorbike or a massive 4x4. It's filthy here too. However, the people are friendly and helpful. They really want to learn English and make their country more prosperous. I'm looking forward to getting out of the city and seeing more of Cambodia. This isn't magical like Cape Town or Sydney, but it is so interesting to discover more about the history and its effect on the country.

Highlights so far:
- Spotting how many random things people stack on the back of their motorbike. Best spots include 6 people on one bike, a woman breastfeeding her baby with 3 other adults also on the same bike and a couple carrying home their cash and carry produce on a bike. Monks on a motorbike never fail to amuse.
- Beautiful Khmer food - beef lok lak, fish amoy and banana flower salad in particular. I'm hoping to do a Cambodian cookery course while I'm here.